Never Give Up Before Fight

25 December 2009

Salam..

Congratulations and bravo to my former school, SMA Persekutuan Labu, Negeri Sembilan for becoming the 5^th placer in PMR among SMA and SMKA entire Malaysia. It’s a very pleasant gift from students and a worthy effort from teachers in ensuring the achievement in hand. Mabruk a’laikum..

Truly, success is for the one who will to pay the price.

Hard Time and Depress

Talking about success, is it hard to achieve? Is it impossible?

Well, yeah. Hard to achieve but not impossible my friends..

Remind back my hard time in Form 4, I went through a very difficult and depressing period to cope with Additional Mathematics subject. “Very hard. Don’t understand. I want to give it up,” that’s all in mind. How childish.

I was one of the school basketball players. Because of the tournament was just around the midterm examination period, I got everything mixed up. My concentration was completely out of exam since the basketball training was held either on class time or on prep time.

Seems like I got nothing learned from add math. Despite knowing so, I didn’t do exercise because every single of the questions were unsolvable. Ridiculous huh? Dah la tak tau belajar apa-apa entah, buat latihan pun malas..

During exam, I completely screwed up. I had no idea to answer all questions. ALL.. I mean it.

When add math result came out, I scored only 27 percent!!!

Feel embarrassed since most of my friends scored, I tried to look relax. But honestly, I tore apart inside. Try to call my mother..

“Ma.. rasa macam nak ambil kelas tuisyen add math la. So, nak mintak dalam RM 200 sebulan nak buat duit yuran kelas.”

I tried to avoid talking about my result.

“Kenapa? Kelas pagi-pagi tak cukup ke belajar? Banyak tu..”

“Er.. cukup-cukup. Saja nak strengthen comprehension sikit lagi. Kawan-kawan pun ramai yang masuk kelas tu. Cikgu bagus.”

“Result hari tu macam mana?”

I had no idea to answer that..

“Hmm.. tak berapa ok. Tu yang nak masuk kelas tu.”

“Tak berapa ok tu berapa?” mom asked again.

“27.. Failed.” Short answer, but it was very difficult to spill it out.

My mom suddenly became speechless. I was worried..

“Ma.. sori..” I said softly.

“Tak apa la.” She said later. But I heard an angry shout from behind..

“Tu la. Orang suruh study, banyak pergi main. Lepas tu mula la nak masuk tuisyen. Abang-abang dulu tak pernah pun masuk tuisyen!”

That was from my dad. I knew he will say so. Even though that reaction was under prediction, I got totally upset. Honestly, my eyes burst into tears.

Really painful to hear that from my own dad when I was desperately need support, who else if not from my parents. But.. well, I know him. Maybe he was in a little bad mood.

“Sorry ma.. abah..” My last words. I hung up.

It was really unmotivated. Yet, I felt challenged. I tried to be tough. I will fix it. I’ll prove that to mom and dad. Better be late than never.

what should i do?

Stand Up Again

I’m not the kind that frustrated to the end. Nothing to lose again in future. So, I change my style in add math. More exercise, concentrate in class.

No need to feel down and undetermined. That doesn’t change anything.

I kept my will constant and worked on it. Why?

Because I set my target at the highest. Not just no more fail but I’ll score A! Bukan setakat lulus sahaja.

Because I felt challenged as my friends had scored already despite we were the same. Just knew add math together, just step into high secondary level together. Why couldn’t I?

Because I was an excellent lower secondary level student.

Because it was my own mistakes to not struggle in the start.

Because I owed my mom and dad for the tuition fee.

Because I had no reason for my last fail!

Then, I caught up everything I missed in the past. Try to be steady on current syllabus. Doubled, yet tripled my exercises.

Alhamdulillah it was a happy ending. Felt like in dream that I scored 80 in the final exam.

Despite not failed, I grab A. More.. it was an A1 from an E!!

Once again, I felt warm on my cheeks. I cried happily. Paid my promise to mom and dad.

when there's a will, there's a way

Rise and Fall

Sometimes we fall to the valley. Sometimes we rise to the peak. It’s common in human life. Should we become uninspired after only fall into valley once? Or should we climb to the peak again?

I remembered words from 4^th year senior, Abang Atiq,

“Kadang-kadang ana rasa pelik. Kenapa pelajar-pelajar scholar ni tak bersyukur? Dah dapat peluang buat medic. Oversea pula tu. Tapi tak pula usaha macam orang bersyukur.”

I was mesmerized by his points that night. Really a good reflect from scholar students nowadays. We chose to fall. That made us really failed.

These questions came into my mind..

What am I doing here actually? Am I doing what I supposed to do?

What I’m aiming actually? Am I capable to achieve my goal?

What should I grab here? Am I walking in the right path?

What about my academic states now? Am I qualified to become doctor?

Ya Allah.. Am I capable of being a reliable doctor on my states right now?

Layak ke aku nak jadi doktor ni?

“Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people."

Al Baqarah : 286

Ya Allah..

If this path is the best for me and my friends, please help us through all the circumstances in life.

Please guide us in examinations and challenge in medical field.

Lighten us with your undiminished nur.

Bless us, your servants to become reliable doctors and dentists with Islam as guidance.

Wasalam..